


4x10 - The Alternate Ending

by FandomFeels17



Series: Missing / Deleted scenes [9]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Hospitals, M/M, Think you know what's coming, nausea warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:55:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25109590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomFeels17/pseuds/FandomFeels17
Summary: Matt wiped away a tear from his face. ''You're going to be fine.'' he told Justin firmly, wiping away Justin's tears. ''It's going to be tough, I have no doubt, but we're going to help you through this.''''Promise?''''I promise, kiddo.''
Relationships: Justin Foley & Clay Jensen, Justin Foley/Clay Jensen
Series: Missing / Deleted scenes [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1791589
Comments: 16
Kudos: 99





	4x10 - The Alternate Ending

**Author's Note:**

> I'm here!  
> I'm here!
> 
> Oh guys! This has taken me ages. I had drafts upon drafts saved and then I read and doubted myself and then I was looking at all the medication and names and there's so many, that it overwhelmed me for research. And then I wrote it out again and then I doubted myself again.
> 
> But I knew that I wanted to get the family's confusion and then their strength to help to Justin through this, into the story so I hope I've done that.
> 
> I toyed with putting Jess' part in, but because we didn't see how she reacted in the show, I didn't want to make her seem out of character, so ultimately I decided against it. But if that's something you'd be interested in reading, I'd be willing to write it as a ''missing scene''.
> 
> I hope I've done this prompt justice!
> 
> (I will also have another similar to this one, coming up. Which takes place after 3x12) I quite like the idea of a juxtaposition between the two that will happen.
> 
> Anyway, on with the story!

''I just... I feel like I should stay here with you.''

Justin rested his book on his duvet covered thighs. ''Dude, it's your senior prom.''

Clay sighed. ''Are you sure you can't come for a little bit? Charlie got an eight person limo.''

Justin looked over at Clay from the rim of his book. ''Isn't it somewhat gay you're going with the two of them?''

Clay blinked and pulled a face, a little offended. ''Ok. A, so what if I were. Would you love me any less?''

Justin smiled at him. ''Of course I wouldn't. You're my brother. I love you no matter what. Gay, straight, pan, bi-''

''Okay. Go to know you'd support me, no matter what.'' Clay said, cutting through Justin's speech with a smile. Turning to put on his black jacket, he checked himself out in the mirror before turning to Justin. ''How do I look?''

Justin nodded, groaning as he climbed from the bed with difficulty. Ignoring Clay's protests, Justin walked over to him, reaching round to the back of his jacket and tucking the lapels down straight. ''There.'' he whispered, smiling at his brother, despite the pain of muscles.

Clay was about to speak when the door open and he heard their mother shout out. ''I'm ready.'' he called, walking into her eyeline.

Lainie gasped at seeing one of her sons dressed so handsomely. ''Oh sweetheart, you look so handsome.'' she whispered, clearly trying to keep her emotions in check. ''You look so grown up.''

Matt smiled, before grabbing his phone and holding it up for a picture. Clay reluctantly posed with his Mom, before a loud horn reached their ears. ''Sounds like the limo is here.'' Matt said, tucking the phone back into his pocket and smiling at one of his sons.

Clay turned back to Justin, who was just coming out of the bathroom. ''Are you sure you're going to be okay? I swear to god, I don't mind staying at home.''

''Just go and have fun for the both of us.'' Justin insisted, smiling before walking with Clay to the door. ''Say hi to everyone for me.'' he said, slapping him on the back gently. ''And please, don't worry. I'll see you when you get home.''

Clay looked unsure, glancing at Matt, who nodded at his silent request. Stepping outside, he watched as Justin complimented Lainie, earning him a kiss to the cheek. Waving them off, Justin smiled until they were out of sight before he dropped it and grimaced. ''You okay?'' Matt asked, watching him closely.

Justin nodded. ''Yeah. I'm fine. Honestly, just the flu.''

Matt frowned. ''Do you want me to make you anything? I could make you some butternut squash soup. Might help.''

Justin nodded. ''Sure. If I'm asleep, just leave on the dresser.''

Matt nodded and watched him go back inside, frowning. Deciding to make the soup, he made a mental note to check on him every half an hour. Justin waited until Matt had gone back inside, before wrapping his arm round his waist and letting out a low groan of pain.

Sitting on his bed, he caught sight of the white suit he had saved up to buy. Anger coursed through his veins, damning himself.

_If you had just told them, you would've been well enough to go_ , he chastised himself. Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he headed for the toilet, gripping the sink and looking at his reflection in the mirror.

He was definitely loosing weight and he was definitely weaker than normal. Splashing some water on his face, he stared at himself in the mirror for a minute, before he took a deep breath and looked towards his tux. He felt a wave of sadness that all of his friends and his family were going to be having fun and he was going to be stuck in bed, ill.

Glancing at himself, he hardened his face and splashed more water onto himself, before heading into the kitchen downing a glass of water. Breathing heavily, he headed for his tux and left the outhouse. Heading into the main house, he smiled quickly at Matt, who glanced at him as he walked in.

Seeing the tux hooked over his arm, he frowned at Justin. ''Justin, are you sure your up for it?''

Justin nodded. ''It's my school prom. I'll just take a few tablets.'' he said, before heading for the stairs.

Matt sighed and watched as Justin headed up the stairs. Turning his attention to his phone, he slipped it out of his pocket and opened up the text message thread to Lainie.

_Justin is_

Was all he got out since the sound of someone falling reached his ears. Rushing through the living room, he just had time to cushion Justin's head against his the palm of his hand before he hit the bottom of the steps.

* * *

''Mom... Would you like to dance?'' Clay asked, looking over to his Mom.

Lainie looked surprised, before her face softened. Her eyes were definitely sparkling with unshed tears. ''Yes, I would love to.'' she said, accepting her sons hand and laughing when he pulled her onto the dance floor, twirling her around and laughing with her.

It had been a great night so far. Charlie and Alex won Prom King and King and everyone just seemed happy which was a nice change after everything they had gone through in the last few years. Obviously, it would've been better if Justin had been there with them, in his tux. She made mental note to get some picture of her boys dressed in their tuxes when Justin was better.

She was so focused on dancing and her happiness in that moment, she failed to feel her phone vibrating multiple times.

It wasn't until Clay fished his phone out of his pocket and saw the caller ID, that Lainie knew something was wrong. Taking her son by the hand, they slipped from the crowd and out into the empty hallway.

Swiping to answer, Clay put the phone on speaker since they were alone. ''Dad?''

''Clay! Finally someone answers! Get to the hospital with your Mom. Now! It's Justin!''

Lainie's face drained of colour. ''Oh my god.'' she whispered, grabbing Clay's hand and heading for the nearest exit of the school. Having followed the limo in her car, Lainie climbed into the drivers seat, waiting for Clay to climb in before grabbing his hand and squeezing it.

''Mom... Mom, I'm scared. He looked so ill earlier and I swear I told him I'd stay with him.''

Lainie nodded before she took a deep breath and started the car. ''I know you did. I know you did, sweetheart.'' she told him, as she sped out of the parking lot and in the direction of the hospital.

* * *

Matt met them outside when they arrived. ''Dad, what happened?!'' Clay shouted as he rushed towards the front entrance of the hospital where Matt was waiting for them.

Pulling his wife and son into a hug to calm them down, he spoke. ''He was going to get ready for Prom. I was about text you when I heard him fall down the stairs. He was unconscious and I freaked out because he wasn't waking up.''

Clay took a deep breath to steady his nerves. ''Where is he?'' he asked, starting to head in the direction of the hospital. Matt and Lainie followed him, as they stepped into a lift. ''Dad, is he okay?'' Clay asked, once the door had closed and they were alone.

Matt looked at his son and shook his head. ''I don't think he is.''

Clay tuned out of what his Dad was telling him. He should've stayed. He should've stayed with Justin and he could've figured out what was wrong with him. The doors slid open and Clay could hear the muffled shouts coming from Justin's room. Casting a terrified look to his parents, Clay rushed forward towards the room that occupied Justin, flinging the door open-

''You're not telling them I'm dying!''

Justin spotted Clay a second too late to stop the sentence flying from his mouth.

'D… Dying?'' Clay started to panic, as the clour drained from his face. ''What the fuck? What the fuck do you mean you're dying?'' he shouted, his head ping ponging back and forth between Justin and the doctor.

The doctor frowned. ''You didn't know?'' at Matt and Lainie's scared expression, the doctor sighed. ''Maybe we should take this outside?'' she said, ushering Clay through the door along with parents.

Justin watched through the glass, watching as Lainie and Matt very visibly reacted. He squeezed his eyes shut. That was it. His deepest secret was out and he wouldn't have anywhere to go. He heard a loud bang and snapped his eyes open, seeing Clay had staggered back into the glass door, probably from shock. Justin could see Matt comforting Lainie, trying to take in what the doctor was saying.

Clay turned to face him through the glass door, a single teardrop dropping from his eye.

''I'm sorry.'' Justin mouthed, sitting up and swinging his legs over the bed, his shoulders shaking as he cried. Clay's body crashed into his not a second later, their arms wrapped around each other tightly. ''I'm sorry. I'm sorry.'' Justin sobbed, clutching Clay like a lifeline.

''You're not going to die. Do you hear me? You're not going to die!''

''I am. It's too late, isn't it?''

Clay shook his head. ''No. No, it's not. Not if we get you started on the medication straight away.''

Justin sniffled and pulled back slightly. ''I knew.'' he said, sniffling, the black jumper he and Clay shared hanging from his frame. He looked over Clay's shoulder, as Matt and Lainie entered the room, both of them shaken and scared. ''I always knew.'' he admitted, wiping his eyes on the jumper sleeve. ''I've known since i came out of treatment. They performed blood tests and my samples came back positive. I told them that I wanted to tell you guys, on my time. So, I forced the doctor to promise me that he wouldn't tell you, when you two picked me up from the hospital.''

''Why didn't you?'' Matt whispered, heading over to Justin and sitting next to him. ''Justin... What were you going to do?''

Justin's silence answered that question.

''Did you just expect us to wake up one morning and find you dead in yo-'' Clay cut himself off, unwilling to even finish his sentence.

Justin let some more tears drip from his eyes. ''I'm sorry. I just... Didn't want to be a burden. You didn't sign up for this when Clay hid me in his bedroom.''

Lainie, who had her hands in her hair trying not to loose it, turned to face him. ''Justin...' She whispered. ''You've been with us a year! A year!'' She was loosing control of her emotions, her hands were shaking badly. ''Sweetheart, you know you've could've come to us! This is fucking life threatening!''

Justin, Clay and Matt raised their eyebrows at Lainie's swearing. ''Holy shit! I think that's the first time you've ever sworn in-front of me.'' Justin said, his voice slightly stunned.

''Don't think you're going to wriggle out of this!'' Lainie scolded. ''I'm going to find a nurse.'' she said, before pointing her finger at Justin. ''Don't think this conversation is over, either!'' she told him, before she headed from the room.

Lainie headed down the corridor, searching for the doctor that had been talking to Justin earlier when she had arrived with Clay. Finding her grabbing some blood supplies, Lainie gently knocked on the door frame, pulling Matt's jacket firmly round her body.

The nurse looked up, seeing Lainie hovering. ''Are you okay? I know that must have been a shock. We're trying to get hold of the doctor who discharged him from the treatment centre but, so far... no luck.'' the nurse headed towards her, putting a comforting arm on Lainie's shoulder. ''I'm Sasha. I'm sorry, I never got your name?''

''How bad is it?'' Lainie asked, not betting around the bush. ''Can you treat him? I can't loose my son.''

Sasha's face remained neutral. ''I need to do HIV RNA test.'' At Lainie's confused expression, she continued. ''It will track how many HIV particles are in his blood sample that I take.''

Lainie nodded. ''And then what? Do we get the results straight away?''

''Once the results come back, if it isn't too late, we can get him started on a course of medication straight away, but I will warn you, some of the side effects aren't pretty.''

''He's my son. Just having him alive is all I need.''

Sasha nodded. ''Of course.'' Stepping out of the supply cabinet, she beckoned Lainie to follow her. ''You seem like a close knit family. It's nice to see.''

Lainie gave the ghost of smile. ''They're my world.''

* * *

It was early the next morning when they finally arrived home. Dawn was just breaking when Matt pulled into the driveway. Turning off the engine, the car was silent, as they reflected over the last few hours.

Everything had changed so quick.

One minute Matt was making soup, then he was catching an unconscious Justin as he fell from the top of the stairs. Clay and Lainie had been having a nice time at the Prom and not worrying about anything, to suddenly being at the hospital with the prospect of loosing a son and a brother.

They climbed from the car, Clay following at the end of the pack, keeping an eye on Justin, who had been scarily silent since the nurse had taken his blood and then came back with his results and antiretroviral medication. Even the front door shutting behind Clay seemed loud.

Lainie turned to address her boys, when Justin started heading up the stairs, his hands tucked deep into his pockets and the hood pulled up round his head. Watching him go, Lainie wanted to run after him, but Matt held her back. ''Just let him get his feelings out.'' he whispered, as they all heard the shower turn on.

They all expected it, but it was still heart-breaking to hear Justin's screams coming from the locked bathroom door.

Clay thought he had no more tears left to spill, but evidently he was wrong due to the amount of tears that were rolling down his cheeks. ''I need some air.'' He gasped, before he tripped over his feet as he headed for the door and staggered out, before running.

He ran until he needed to stop. He ran into the woods, slumping against a tree when the need to stop and breathe became apparent. Sliding to the ground, Clay sobbed openly and loudly before letting out a loud scream. He kept screaming until his throat hurt, before punching the tree trunk repeatedly until he was back to sobbing against the tree.

How could Justin have hidden this from them? It was a matter of life and death he had been gambling with and he had been very close to the d word, according to the nurse. Another six to eight weeks and Justin would've been... Clay shuddered at the thought of watching Justin waste away in a hospital bed.

Shaking his head to get rid of the image, Clay wiped his face with his hands. He had to be strong, for Justin, for his parents. He had to show them that they were going to get through this. They were going to get Justin through this.

Together.

* * *

Matt and Lainie were sat in the kitchen, each too overwhelmed and shocked to go to sleep. Justin had cried himself out and was asleep on the sofa, tucked under his blanket from the Outhouse.

''Matt... I'm scared.'' she whispered, clutching her cup of coffee tightly in her hands.

Matt sighed softly. ''So am I, Lainie.'' he reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly. ''I can't believe he didn't tell us. Did he think we wouldn't love him anymore if we knew? He wasn't going to tell us, Lainie. What was going to happen? Were we going to find him laid in bed...'' Matt cut himself off. He squeezed his eyes shut. He wasn't normally one for showing emotion, but this had shook him up badly. ''Lainie, I was so scared. One minute he came through here with determination written on his face and then the next I just heard this bang and he was falling.''

It was Lainie's turn to squeeze her husbands hand. ''I can't imagine how scary that was.''

''He just fell into my arms. Just... Not moving.'' Matt wiped away a stray tear. ''I didn't even know what to say to paramedics. Justin came round just as we reached the hospital and he freaked. Back then, I didn't know why but now I do. He didn't want me to find out.''

Lainie sighed and wiped her eyes. ''Did he think he couldn't tell us?''

Matt shook his head. ''He knew, Lainie. He knew... And I know you don't want to think this. But after everything he's been through, I don't think he wanted to tell us.''

Lainie stared at Matt. ''You think he wanted to die?'' she choked out, clamping a hand over her mouth so she didn't wake up Justin.

Matt nodded. ''You heard him when you and Clay arrived. 'You don't tell them I'm dying.' He knew and didn't want to tell us.''

'But why? We're his parents!''

Matt shushed her, checking that Justin was still asleep. ''Lainie, you have to remember he grew up with a mother didn't care about him. His childhood and upbringing was completely different to Clay. Look how long it took him to make this house his home. How was always asking our permission at first to buy things for the Outhouse, when he wanted to use the toilet during dinner or if he wanted to just stay in and read comics while we went for a walk.''

''But he should've trusted us.''

''Lainie...'' Matt warned, before sighing. ''We have to accept the possibility that he didn't want to be saved.''

The front door opened and Clay walked in, dragging his feet as he shut the front door loudly, not realising Justin was asleep on the sofa. Justin awoke with a start, before seeing Clay stood in front of him, obviously having been crying. Guilt flooded him, from head to toe. ''Clay...'' he whispered, reaching out for him.

Clay stepped back and glared at him before he turned and stormed through the kitchen, Justin following him. Entering the Outhouse, the door slammed behind Justin, who was watching with trepidation. When Clay didn't say anything, Justin edged forward and sat on the edge of his bed, shaking slightly. ''Clay, I'm sorry...''

''You're not! You're sorry you got caught!'' Clay shouted. ''What the fuck were you going to do, Justin? Just let us find out for ourselves and scar us for life?''

Justin said nothing, allowing Clay to scream and shout at him. He deserved it anyway.

''You're not even saying anything, Justin! Is that what you were going to do?'' Clay let out a sob. ''For fucks sake! Why?! You have people who love you, Our parents, Jess, Zach... Me! I fucking love you!'' Clay choked on his words before getting himself under control. ''I fucking love you and...'' Clay trailed off as his eyes caught one of Justin's photos. Forgetting about his anger towards his brother, he turned his anger into something else. ''And as much I hate you at this minute for not trusting me enough to tell me, I'll support you.''

Justin frowned. ''Through what?''

Clay looked at his brother. ''Telling Jess.''

Justin let out a deadpanned laugh. ''And why would I tell Jess? She's not my girlfriend anymore.''

Clay raised an eyebrow. ''Justin, I know you're tired and everything but you surely haven't lost your brain cells! You and Jess were sleeping together! She needs to get tested.''

Justin's eyes slowly widened before fear etched across his features. Frantically shaking head, Justin started pacing. ''I can't tell her. I can't. Never mind HIV, she'll fucking kill me!''

''You don't have a choice here, Justin! And HIV isn't going to kill you, stop saying it!'' Clay snapped.

Justin stopped and stared, grabbing the back of his head. ''I can't tell people. I can't. They'll look at me like I'm... disgusting!''

Clay vehemently shook his head. ''They won't. They won't, Justin. You know why?'' He asked, waiting for Justin to look at him before continuing. ''Because I'll be there next to you and I'll sucker punch anyone who tries to even talk badly of you for having it... But Justin, you have to tell Jess to get tested.''

Justin looked off to the side, clearly terrified at having to face his ex. ''The second I say it out loud, it becomes real.'' he whispered, glancing down at his hands.

Clay's heart broke even more. He sighed. ''Do you want me call Jess? Lunch will be starting in an hour. I could tell her to come over?''

Justin nodded. ''Will you stay? While I tell her?''

''Of course.''

* * *

It was week two of Justin adjusting to life with taking medication everyday.

He still wasn't used to it and had to constantly rely on Clay or Matt or Lainie to remind him to take it. It was hard, but nowhere near as hard telling Jess, who had reacted understandably horrified and lashed out at him badly on reactive instinct. He was just glad Clay had given chase after her managed to convince her to keep it to herself and Diego, who had to get tested too since he had slept with Jess.

A loud shrill noise woke Clay up. Slamming his hand over his alarm, he dragged himself upwards into a sitting position, just in time to see Justin scramble from his bed. The sound of Justin retching reached his ears. Scrambling from the bed, Clay skidded into the bathroom, his eyes widening at how violently Justin was throwing up.

Rushing back out to the kitchen, he grabbed a clean glass and filled it with water. Heading back into Justin, he sat down next to him and rubbed his back. ''Try and drink this.'' he whispered, as Justin sat down on his heels. Reaching for the glass with a very shaky hand, the water sloshed over the sides. Wrapping his hands round the glass, he helped Justin take a few sips, scolding him slightly when he tried to glug it down.

Pushing the glass away, Justin slumped against the wall, Clay going with him since he was still holding onto his brother. ''Have you taken your medication today?''

Justin shook his head. ''I haven't eaten yet.''

Clay sighed and helped him to his feet, flushing the toilet before he helped Justin back to his bed. Rushing to their kitchen, he quickly shoved a piece of bread into their toaster and turned to face Justin again. ''You look awful.''

''Thanks. You really know how to make me feel better.''

''Just saying. You're not going to school today.''

''Yes, Mom.'' Justin said weakly, burping quietly. Jumping slightly when the toaster popped, he accepted the plate and started nibbling, watching as Clay rushed around, getting ready for school. Only managing half of the toast, Justin set the plate on the dresser, before reaching for his medication. Sighing heavily, he tipped the amount of pills he needed into his palm and stared at them.

He glanced up at Clay, who was busy brushing his teeth. He knew the risks of not taking his pills, that had been drilled into him from the get go. His hand was shaking and he tilted his palm as if to tip the pills back into the respective pill bottle.

''Don't even think about it.'' Clay said, firmly, handing him a fresh glass of water. Justin sighed heavily and took the glass before tipping the pills into his mouth and swallowing them down with the water. ''Show me.''

Justin kissed the back of his teeth, annoyed, but he opened his mouth anyway and lifted his tounge, proving to Clay he had took them. ''Will you leave now? You're going to be late.''

A knock at the door had them jumping, before Lainie poked her head round the door. ''Boys, school.'' she said, before taking in the state of Justin. She frowned. ''What happened?'' she asked, rushing towards him, feeling his head with the back of her hand.

''He threw up this morning.''

''You threw up? What have you eaten?''

''Apart from my dry toast, nothing and that was after I threw up.'' Justin said, feeling the onset of a headache slowly coming along.

Lainie frowned. ''Okay. Clay, get to school and pick up anything of Justin's. Justin, how about you come into the main house? I'm working from home, so I'll be able to keep a better eye on you in there?''

Justin nodded and slowly arose from the bed, grabbing his blanket as he did so. Waving Clay off, he entered the house with Lainie. The smell of freshly brewed coffee made his stomach turn, but he managed to hold it down. Heading into the living room, he curled up on the sofa, throwing his blanket over him.

Footsteps on the stairs made him look up. ''Hey kiddo. How are you feeling?'' Matt asked, as he came downstairs, ready for work.

''Meh.''

Matt and Lainie laughed gently, before Matt headed into the kitchen. ''Justin, do you want anything to eat?''

''No, I'm okay, thanks.'' he was still feeling queasy from just smelling the coffee. He was beginning to drop off to sleep again when the smell of bacon reached his nose. Normally, he would be shoving Clay out of the way in his haste to get to the table if bacon was involved, now, it sent him running for the stairs.

Lainie shrieked when Justin suddenly spewed on the stairs, not having being quick enough to run up them to the bathroom. ''Oh my god, sweetheart.'' she gasped out, as she rushed towards him, with Matt behind her.

''I'm sorry. I'm sorry!'' Justin cried, the smell of vomit reaching nose, making him retch again, although that could've also being from Lainie's hand rubbing his back. ''Why is this happening?!'' he sobbed, before Lainie helped him to his feet and guided him up the stairs. ''I'll clean it up! I promise, I will.''

''Don't be silly. Myself and Matt have cleaned worse up on them stairs.'' She told him, as they entered the bathroom. Sitting Justin on the toilet, Lainie set the bath running. Checking the temperature, she poured bubbles in before turning back to Justin, who was sobbing freely.

It broke her heart to see her son like this. Keep positive thoughts in mind so she would stay strong for him, she slowly tugged the t-shirt over his head, dumping it in corner of the bathroom to dispose of later. Wiping Justin's tears away, she handed him some folded up toilet paper to wipe his nose. ''You're going to get through this. Remember at the hospital, the nurse told us to expect a few side effects from the medication while it settled into your system? That's all this is.''

Justin sniffled. ''My body's not rejecting it?''

Lainie shook her head. ''No, sweetheart.''

Justin inhaled a few choppy breaths before getting it under control and nodding. He sighed heavily, the fight seemingly leaving him.

Once she deemed the bath water done, Lainie turned off the taps and turned back to Justin. ''Give me your clothes and I'll pop them in the wash for you. Just leave them outside the door. Take as long as you want.'' she said softly, kissing the top of his head.

She turned to leave the room when Justin's hand gripped her wrist. 'Can... Can you wash my hair?'' he whispered, scared to talk any louder in fear of his protective bubble bursting.

Lainie nodded, turning away to allow Justin his privacy whilst he got undressed. Hearing the water the slosh in the bath, she turned slowly and opened her eyes, her heart sinking as Justin sat with his knees drawn up to chest and his arms wrapped round them. Sniffling, she grabbed the jug and dipped it into the water, gently tilting his head back before pouring the water onto his hair. She repeated it a few more times, trying to pretend that the sobs coming from Justin weren't affecting her.

Washing his hair gently and softly, she smiled as she remembered doing the exact same thing when Clay was a little boy.

''I'm sorry for not telling you.'' Justin's voice seemed loud in the quiet room. ''I know I should've told you as soon as I knew but I couldn't. I felt like it was karma.''

Lainie choked on a sob. ''Karma? What are you talking about?''

''When I stole all the money off of Seth, everything what I let happen to Jess, to Hannah... To Amber. She died because I left her there an-''

''She died because she stuck a needle in her arm. That wasn't your fault, sweetheart.''

Justin shook, his emotions taking over. ''I left her there when I went to run with the money. I gave her something like a hundred, two hundred bucks-''

''And she stayed where she was until she was ready.'' Lainie told him. ''Sweetheart, none of this is your fault and most certainly isn't karma!''

''It's a death sentence!''

Lainie shook her head. ''No, it's not! Sweetheart, haven't you read the leaflets the nurse gave you?''

Justin sniffled and shook his head. ''I was already in a bad place, I just didn't want that on top of me as well as everything else. I'm suppose to be revising for exams and writing college letters and filling in forms, not fucking adjusting my life because of this!''

Lainie allowed her tears to fall. ''I know you are! And I can't imagine how hard it must be, but I promise... If you're finding it hard, Justin, we'll help you as best as we can.''

Justin nodded and breathed in deeply, trying to get back to his regular breathing pattern whilst sobbing lightly. ''Mom, I'm scared.''

Lainie cuddled him closer, as best as she could whilst she perched on the edge of the bath. She smiled softly at the fact that he had just called her Mom, warming her heart. ''You don't have to be scared. I'm here. I'm always here. Always.''

* * *

''I thought your Mom told you to go to school?'' Matt said, as he pulled to a stop outside of Dr Ellman's office. Frowning when his son didn't move, he put the car in park and climbed from it, sitting down next to him. ''Clay? Are you okay?''

Lifting his tear stained face, Clay shook his head before allowing his head to fall onto his Dad's shoulder. ''I'm sorry I haven't gone to school but... I was walking and then I just ended up here instead.'' Matt knew their was more to story, so he stayed silent. Eventually, he got the rest. ''He wasn't going to take them. The pills. I caught him trying to put them back.''

Matt turned his head as best as he could. ''He took them, right?''

Clay nodded. ''I gave him a glass of water and checked afterwards.'' He told him, before sniffling. Sighing, he spoke again, his voice trembling. ''I just... I just can't get it out of my head. How we didn't see the signs!''

Matt sighed and wrapped his arm round Clay's shoulder. ''People who don't want people to find out about their problems will always find ways to hide them. And because we're with him everyday, we wouldn't have noticed as quickly as other people would've.''

''But we're his family. Why didn't he trust us?''

Matt stayed silent. He had an idea of why Justin didn't tell them, but he didn't want to voice it in-front of Clay, in-case it set him off. ''We just have to trust that he know he can. And I know how close you two are, but don't force him into talking. Let him come to you.''

''I laid into him the other week. The night we found out. I was blasting him for telling us and then I saw Jess' picture...'' Clay sighed. ''I just... I don't know how to help this time, Dad.''

''We'll help him, whichever way he allows us to.''

Clay let out a few more tears. ''I don't want to loose him Dad. I can't. If I do... I don't know what will happen.'' he whispered, wiping his tears away.

Matt glanced at Clay. He knew the boys would do anything for each other, to point of offering to be an alibi for murder neither of them committed. ''He's not going anywhere.'' Matt promised, jostling Clay slightly to get a small smile. ''We're going to help him, I promise.'' An idea clicked in his head. ''And I think I have just the one...'' he said, getting to his feet and helping Clay to his, before guiding him to car.

It was only when they were pulling out of the car park that Clay frowned. ''Wait. How did you know where I was?''

''The school called.''

_Oops_.

* * *

It was just approaching brunch when Clay and Matt returned home. Stepping through the door, Matt had expected Lainie and Justin to be back downstairs.

Clay frowned at the empty front room. ''Where's Mom? I thought-'' Clay cut himself off when he saw a stain on the carpet that hadn't been there last night when he went for his shower. ''Justin...'' He whispered, before rushing up the stairs, with Matt behind him. Clay headed in the direction of the bathroom. Swinging the door open, he found it empty. Someone had been in there though, due to the bubbles still stuck to the bath.

He turned his head when he heard his Dad whispering for him. Sneaking into the threshold of his parent's room, Clay found Justin asleep and dressed in an old pair of his pyjamas, cuddled up tightly in his Mom's arms, the blanket that Justin had over himself that morning was thrown over them. He smiled at the sight, seeing Justin peacefully sleeping for probably the first time in months.

Lainie's eyes flickered open and she smiled sleepily down at Justin before catching sight of her husband and other son. She saw the dried tear marks on Clay's face and lifted the arm that was round Justin's waist and held it up, beckoning them both. Clay sniffled and didn't think twice about cuddling up to the back of Justin, his arm reaching round to his Mom as he tucked his face into Justin's neck.

Matt set Justin's present on the bedside table before cuddling up to Lainie. ''Are you okay?'' he whispered, wrapping his arm tightly round her.

Lainie nodded. ''Just... An emotional morning.'' she whispered, before she motioned to Clay. ''Why isn't he at school?''

''I got a call saying he never turned up and I tracked him to Dr Ellman's office. I don't know if he actually went though because he was sat on the curb side when I got there.''

Lainie sighed softly before nodding towards the bag. ''What's in there?''

''A Series 3 Apple Watch. Me and Clay went half on it since there was a sale and a buddy of mine from college works at the store. He sneakily gave us a discount.'' He looked up as Justin shifted slightly in his sleep, before continuing. ''I know sometimes he never hears his phone, so we thought maybe a watch would be better for his medication reminders. The watch is set up already, Clay set it up in the car, the vibration is strong so he should feel it every-time it vibrates.''

''Wait, where did Clay get the money from?''

''Turns out he's got a savings account for college.''

A loud slap and a shout made the adults jump. Clay was clutching the side of his face while Justin glared at him, having heard what Matt said. ''What was that for?'' Clay exclaimed, rubbing his cheek before settling down again, this time a slither of space between them.

''You don't use your college allowance on me!''

Clay's cheeks pinked. ''It's just sitting there for another few months, I can easily replace it.''

''Still.'' A silence filled the room, before Justin rested his head on his shoulder, a few minutes later. ''Thankyou, both of you, though. For thinking of me.'' he whispered, his voice slightly shaky, as guilt started to consume him. ''Will you let me repay you both? I still have some wages left over from Monet's.''

''Told you.'' Clay told Matt, who chuckled softly. ''Told he wouldn't take it without offering to repay us.'' he said, before turning to his brother. ''Justin, you don't have to offer to repay us for everything. It's a gift, it's fine.''

Justin fiddled with his thumb before nodding. ''If... If you're sure.''

Matt reached over and squeezed his arm. ''We're sure, kiddo. It's fine. As long as it helps you, then that's all that matters.'' he said, before climbing from the bed. ''Whose hungry?'' he said, keeping in mind that Justin was having trouble keeping food down.

''I could eat.'' Clay said, sliding from the bed and stretching.

''I could make a charcuterie board?''

Justin blinked. ''A what?''

Clay snorted lightly. ''A posh name for a cheese and meat board. If you're still having trouble keeping food down, maybe just try the crackers?''

Justin nodded. ''Can I help make it?'' he said, sitting up and stretching before reaching the bag and peeking in. ''Can I-'' he cut himself off when he saw Clay raise an eyebrow at him. Clearing his throat, he nodded and reached into the bag, pulling the watch out and attaching the white strap to his wrist. Shaking his wrist to make sure it didn't fall off, he smiled up at his family.

''Look at the screen background.''

Justin pressed a button, lightening up the screen and smiling at the picture of the four of them. ''Thanks, Clay.'' he said, reaching out to hug him, Matt and Lainie smiling at their interaction.

''Right, come on. I'm hungry.'' Clay said, ruining the moment, clapping Justin on the back and heading for the stairs. Lainie followed him, hugging him tightly, while Matt and Justin stayed where they were.

''Thankyou. Honestly, you didn't have to... But, like you said, if it helps me remember..''

Matt pulled him in for a hug. ''You're my son.'' he said, feeling Justin grip him tighter as he tried to hold onto his emotions. ''I don't want to loose you. You've got your whole life ahead of you.''

Justin pulled back and sighed. ''I wanted to die... I told Lai... Mom earlier, that I thought it was karma for everything that's happened and I thought that it was only fair. My best friend raped my girlfriend, Hannah killed herself because I stupidly showed Bryce a picture and he spread it around the school, which started everything... I left Amber behind, I sold myself... I was resigned to my fate.''

Matt wiped away a tear from his face. ''You're going to be fine.'' he told Justin firmly, wiping away Justin's tears. ''It's going to be tough, I have no doubt, but we're going to help you through this.''

''Promise?''

''I promise, kiddo.''

Justin smiled, his face wet with tears. ''Thanks, Dad.'' he whispered, before they heard Lainie calling for them both. Heading downstairs, the watch vibrated, making Justin giggle. ''Think that's my cue.'' he said, rushing out to the Outhouse and grabbing his medication. Tipping out the required the amount into his palm, he enclosed them in it as he went to grab a glass of water from the kitchen. Tipping the pills into his mouth, he swallowed them without hesitation, washing them down with the rest of the water. Rinsing the glass out, he put it on their draining board before he headed back into the main house, slipping into a seat next Clay. ''Ooh!'' he said, looking round at the selection of meats and cheeses and crackers and olives, which he wrinkled his nose at.

Dropping some dry crackers onto his plate, Justin felt another vibration on his wrist. Pressing the message icon, he opened it up, a smile spreading across his face, as he read the message.

_When are we changing your last name then, bro?_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I managed to do it justice!
> 
> They will be a few more happier ones before the alternate 3x12 one that will happen though, so don't worry!
> 
> I love you all. Keep safe and I'll be back soon! X


End file.
